Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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