I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
