Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
