i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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