benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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