i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Boobs are out for the taking
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
