I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
