it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I think I just sharted jello shots
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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