What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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