Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Farmville is her only friend.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
you made out with another girl for some wings
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
