Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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