We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
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There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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