i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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