Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
