So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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