I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
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