"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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