Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
