You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
