Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
