used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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