Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
