Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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