I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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