I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
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They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
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He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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