you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
