idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
