Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
