Already got asked if we're dating
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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