Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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