dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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