i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
