So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
