So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
