i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize