He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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