i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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