just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
