No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
