my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
