She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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