I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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