Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
