Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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