Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just pynch a tree in the face
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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