i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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