Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
