I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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