I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
