I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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