You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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