Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just gargled with NyQuil
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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