Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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