The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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