90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?