So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night