dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
did i just pee glitter
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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