I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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